


Nothing that will change the mortal man

by A_R_Alistair



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Deployment, Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Alcohol Abuse, Other: See Story Notes, Reunions, Romance, SEAL Steve McGarrett, Smut, The Author Regrets Nothing, Written to the tune of a Jeremy Loops Song, there will be smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:55:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25071994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_R_Alistair/pseuds/A_R_Alistair
Summary: It's early morning when Steve gets the call from Pearl Harbour telling him that he's being deployed in order to head a special-ops team in Iraq. The news breaks Danny inside a little, but Steve knows that he has Grace and Charlie to take care of Danno while he's away. Steve and Danny may have some hard times ahead of them, but Danny, Grace and Charlie trust the Hawaiian oceans to bring their soldier safely back to shore.Or alternatively, I *SUCK* at summaries but this is the deployment fic I was craving desperately but wasn't available... so I wrote it myself. written to the tune of the amazing song ‘Mortal man by Jeremy Loops’ (which is also where I got the title) Featuring a bunch of romance, plenty of hurt and of course Danny ranting and bickering with Steve.
Relationships: Charles "Charlie" Williams Edwards & Grace Williams, Steve McGarrett & Danny "Danno" Williams & Grace Williams & Charles "Charlie" Williams Edwards, Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 47
Kudos: 92





	1. "Kelepona kelepona aku"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Righto! Hello everyone! Thanks for clicking, you are reading what has become MY CHILD in the last two-ish months I have spent writing it. I am extra scared to put this one out into the world, not only because it's my first Five-0 fic, but also because I have been in intense writer's block for about four(?) years, so when I started this and was actually able to plot and work coherently, it immediately became my favourite work I have ever done. I *wanted* to post this at a slightly later date, but since AO3 only keeps drafts for a month and I am too lazy to redo all the tags, she is exiting the womb that is my Word file a *bit* prematurely.
> 
> To try and keep in with the Five-0 theme, all chapter titles will be in Hawaiian, the translation will be in these notes (which I swear won't always be this long.) This first one translates to "Phone Call"
> 
> Also, please be aware that I do not speak Hawaiian nor do I have any experience with Hawaiian culture, this is purely google translates doing so if there is anyone out there who does speak the language, please don't hesitate to correct me on the chapter titles.

QUICK LITTLE NOTE BEFORE WE KICK THIS THING OFF. [THIS IS THE YOUTUBE LINK](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-qcwdLoY88) TO THE SONG I WROTE LITERALLY THIS WHOLE ENTIRE WORK LISTENING TO, AND [HERE IS THE SPOTIFY LINK](https://open.spotify.com/track/1QGac4OblpXqHpk9AubVuo?si=NZwhcxDJQp6d9czkCdXWTw) FOR ALL THE GOOD HUMANS WHO USE THAT FOR MUSIC, AND FINALLY [THE SOUND CLOUD LINK](https://soundcloud.com/jeremyloops/mortal-man) FOR THE PEOPLE WHO USE THAT. IT'S CALLED MORTAL MAN BY THE AMAZING SOUTH AFRICAN ARTIST JEREMY LOOPS WHO I HAVE NO AFFILIATION WITH, I JUST REALLY LOVE THE SONG. I REALLY SUGGEST YOU GIVE IT A LISTEN _WHILE_ YOU READ IF POSSIBLE BECAUSE IT FIT THESE TWO SO WELL AND AS I SAID I WROTE THE WORK TO THE SONG SO I GUESS IT WOULD HELP SET THE MOOD A LITTLE BETTER. ( You hate to have to put this in the body of the work, but it is the only way I knew how to place an active link. I am *so* sorry!)

* * *

Danny woke up with to the feeling of the bed shifting and a sudden loss of warmth from next to him, reeling as the last shreds of sleep were ripped from his foggy brain. He wrenched his eyes open to see Steve starting to make his way out of the room, illuminated slightly by the screen of his buzzing phone in the dark. A glance at their window told him that it was before sunrise and considering it was a Saturday, which was supposed to be their lazy day, he was confused as to what Steve was doing up at this hour.

“M-Steve? Whassa matr?” he mumbled in a slightly garbled mess as he tried to cut through his foggy brain in his state of half wakefulness. Danny attempted to lift his heavy head to try and figure out what the hell was going on, watching through half-lidded eyes as Steve paused for a second before turning around, a fond, calm smile growing on his face.

“Shh, Danny. It’s okay, it's fine, go to sleep babe, I’ll be back in a minute.” Steve cooed as he quickly made his way over to the bed, guiding Danny to lay down again and kissing him on his temple. As soon as his head hit the pillow, he began to drift, only just managing to hear the soft ‘pfft’ of their bedroom door closing before he began to float in the limbo between the clutches of unconscious and aware, the edges of sleep just barely creeping back in. He stayed like that for what felt like ages, but in reality, it was probably just minutes before he was startled awake by a loud crash and shatter from downstairs followed by Steve cursing angrily.

Danny’s blood ran cold as panic and adrenaline flooded his system; all semblance of sleep shaken from his brain as he leapt out of bed and his task force instincts kicked in. In an instant, he was snatching his gun from the dresser and silently making his way to the door, pausing to listen for any sounds of activity outside the wooden barrier. If it was an intruder, he was at an advantage so long as they didn’t know that he was at home which gave him some reassurance.

Once he was satisfied in thinking that the coast was clear behind the door, he placed a hand on the doorknob and counting to three in his head before swinging it open and aiming his gun toward both sides of the hall, half-hidden behind the frame for protection. Peering out, he saw that the second floor seemed to be clear, making his way toward the stairs slowly until he heard a loud thud from below him followed by a loud “Gah!” A tingle ran through his senses as his mind flooded with ‘Oh God, Steve!”

Danny sprinted down the first flight of stairs, crouching and aiming his gun over the bannister as he got to the second, peering down to see a figure hunched over against the wall. “Steve?” he whisper-shouted, hearing a soft whimper in response. The panic and adrenaline quickly began to subside, leaving him feeling drained, annoyance quickly replacing the hype. “What the heck? You almost gave me a freakin heart attack! I thought someone was breaking in!” he cried, making his way to the bottom of the stairs and flicking on the lights.

Danny’s stomach twisted as he noticed the shattered phone that was laying in the middle of the living room among the shattered glass of what was once a vase. His eyes trailed over the floor to where Steve was leaned against the wall, his forehead placed against the concrete just next to where a chip was, clutching his hand, blood gushing out of his knuckles.

“Danny.” Steve croaked out in a hoarse voice as he glanced over his shoulder “It’s fine, just go back to bed, I promise it’s fine.” he yelped, hissing as he flexed his hand, his voice cracking slightly. Danny rushed to his side, being sure to avoid the glass that littered the floor, grabbing Steve’s bloody hand, and inspecting the damage as soon as he was near him

“You punched a wall?” Danny asked in his usual half sarcastic quip, gesturing at the wall as he spoke. ‘And then you wanna tell me that ‘it’s ‘okay’ like what? I was born yesterday?” he asked mockingly, only to have Steve nod silently in return. “And your phone? The _vase?_ What the hell happened?” he questioned, waiting for a beat for the reply that never came, cringing at his boyfriends torn up knuckles before turning to go to the bathroom and grabbing the gauze and anti-septic.

He started to wrap and disinfect Steve’s hand, listening as he hissed in pain and protest, Danny mumbling incoherent insults under his breath as he worked. When he was done, he looked up at Steve’s stone-cold expression expectantly watching as it softened slightly. “Well?” he asked, stepping back, staring Steve down, “Are you gonna tell me what happened or is this gonna be another 'McGarrett top secret?' Danny inquired with a shrug.

Steve sighed, dragging his good hand through his hair, looking away before looking back at his partners' eyes. After several years of working with the guy and three years of dating him, Danny could read Steve’s mannerisms as fluently as if he were talking to him. He could tell that whatever it was that Steve wasn’t telling him, the words were weighing like a ton of bricks.

After a second’s hesitation, Steve closed his eyes and said plainly, “They want me,” before staring at Danny and raising his hands in a shrug as if he had just given the only words that were left in his brain. As if he didn’t know what else to say to him and that what he had just given his partner summed everything up perfectly.

“What?” Danny said, his face scrunching up as he tilted his head in confusion, Steve’s face staying expressionless. “What- Whad’ya mean? Who wants you?” he asked becoming more and more concerned at Steve’s lack of emotion, sensing that something was coming but he was too blind to see what.

“I got a call from Pearl Harbour… It’s been years, how can they expect me to just…” Steve started again, staring over Danny’s shoulder at the blank wall across from him. The mention of the harbour sent daggers into Danny’s gut as nausea began to creep over his system. “I’ve been reinstated, Danny.”

“No,” he answered seriously. As if he were just asked if pigs flew and whisky grew on trees. “No” he repeated shaking his head as he began to feel panic flood his system, losing his footing as he stumbled backwards slightly. He knew there was nothing he could do to change the words that had just left Steve’s mouth but still acted as though saying ‘no’ would just fix the whole situation.

Danny’s eyes burned with the promise of tears as he watched Steve nod his head mumbling a soft ‘yes’ under his breath as he crowded Danny, pulling him into an embrace. “No! No! Nonono!” he screamed, thrashing, and banging on Steve’s chest and fighting against his clutches, but Steve was too strong, holding him tight and shushing him softly until he had calmed down.

“No,” he groaned into the now damp fabric on Steve’s chest “They can’t just take you, they can’t,” Danny whispered between pitiful sobs. Steve shushing him again, petting the back of his hair and rocking them slowly in an attempt to calm Danny down.

“I made an agreement. I start up the task force down here and they get to call me up for service whenever they need me.”

“But…” Danny whispered; face buried in Steve’s chest

“Hey, hey, it’s gonna be okay Danno. Just trust me, it’s all gonna be okay.” Steve muttered into Danny’s hairline, silence falling heavy on the room as they stood in one another arms, Danny sobbing softly into Steve’s chest.

“When?” Danny croaked out after a while; that being all he could muster as he looked up at Steve with puffy, bloodshot eyes, brain buzzing with the notion of Steve leaving him with no guarantee of coming back alive.

“A week.” Steve started before shaking his head slightly as if he had misstepped “Five days, I leave in five days.” he corrected himself watching as Danny took a deep breath, his face contorting into a pained expression, prying himself from Steve’s grip and folding his arms the sick curl in his stomach making a quick return as his head became light.

“And how long will you be gone for?” Danny questioned; his voice evidently filled with annoyance but cracking horribly at the edges as tears began to re-emerge. Steve sighed, his expression pained as he looked down at the floor, his throat clicking audibly as he swallowed. “How. Long?” Danny hissed out through clenched teeth. He knew that move, it was the same thing Steve did every time he wanted to avoid a question he’d rather not answer, knowing it would hurt whoever he was speaking to. “Steve! Answer me!” Danny begged, anger boiling in the pit of his stomach as he stared Steve down like a kid caught in a lie.

“Eitnmnths” Steve mumbled to the floor as he dipped his head lower, his face showing that he was hoping upon hope that Danny wouldn’t make him repeat the information but knowing that life would never be that sweet. Danny’s eyes burned holes into him, pinning him in place with a crushing gaze.

“What?” Danny bit out, venom dripping from his tone as he became more and more worked up. “Look, there is nothing we can do to change whatever it is, so just tell me, Steven, how long?” he pressed, watching as Steve finally snapped,

“Eighteen months, Danny!” he screamed, arms unfolding arms thrashing violently as he did so, anger burning in his eyes.

The volume of Steve’s response along with the violent action caused Danny to jump out of his own skin, on edge and ready to defend himself. He was momentarily frightened of the usually calm commander. It took a moment before Steve collected himself and whispered into the darkness.

“They want me to head a special ops team for Eighteen months in Iraq,” And then Steve broke. The first tears fell from Steve’s eye as he felt his heart shatter. He chanced a look at Danny’s face, watched, the man he loved more than anything in his life broke down in sobs and, a hand flying over his mouth as he shook his head in denial.

“Iraq, Steve? You- you can’t say yes to that, you…” Danny sobbed, the knot in his stomach tightening and his throat closing up as he choked out the words. “You can’t just leave me like that for a suicide mission. You can’t leave the team!” You can’t leave my kids, he thought to himself, dragging a hand through his hair.

His brain was now spiralling about how he was going to tell the kids that Steve was going to war, that he might not be coming back. He shook, backing away from his partner like a scared animal, torn between falling into his arms and holding him until the world stopped turning and shoving him out the door so hard, he would never have to see him again.

“Danny…” Steve muttered in a soft, whispered tone, not knowing what else to say to make this any better. He was angry, tired, emotional, and he was totally lost in a situation he had been through tens of times before in the past. He had been called up so many times before, the only difference was now, he had so much to lose. Steve tried to step closer to Danny, reaching out to touch his boyfriend only to have him pull away as if burned by Steve’s touch, storming into the kitchen, eyes brimming with tears.

Danny’s skin prickled. He became hyper-aware of Steve’s presence as the soldier leaned himself against the doorframe. Unsure what to do with himself, Danny grabbed a mug from the cupboard. He slammed the object onto the counter with a loud bang, hurling a teabag into it before throwing the cupboard shut as his blood boiled under his skin, burning through his veins and conflict echoing in his instincts.

Suddenly, Danny’s own existence felt uncomfortable, he wanted to hit something, to cry, to scream at the top of his lungs and tell Steve he hated him, he wanted to curl up in Steve’s arms and sleep and to run as far as his legs could take him all at the same time. He crossed his arms, staring out into the restless Hawaiian sea, shrouded in navy-blue darkness while he waited for the water to boil. His eyes followed the uncalculated push and pull of the ocean crashing on the shore as he began to zone out, standing and staring silently, his mind falling blank as he stared out into the open sea.

After a while was pulled from his trance by a pair of hands sliding over his waist and coming to rest on his still crossed arms, and a pleasant weigh rested on his shoulder. This time, instead of pulling away, Danny let himself lean back into the warmth, a shiver running down the back of his spine as Steve’s breath ghosted over the shell of his ear when he whispered softly, “It’ll be fine Danno. It’s nothing I haven’t done a million times before,” before placing a small line of kisses up the side of his neck.

“I know, but it’s war Steve, is not the same as chasing bad guys around the island,” Danny spoke, watching the two of them in the faint reflection of the window, now both staring at the very ocean that would take Steve away. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you man. Not to mention Grace, Charlie, the team? A year and a half is a long time Steve.”

Steve sighed, cringing slightly at the sour realization of leaving Grace and Charlie. “We’ll tell em soon, they’re tough, they can handle it, especially the kids. They take after their old man.” Steve whispered, smiling into his partner's neck as Danny nodded softly at the reassurance.

“Somehow I feel like those two will be looking after me more than I’ll be looking after them.” Danny joked, his heart lifting and his breathing easing slightly “You just gotta promise me that your goofy ass will at least try and be safe, no heroics, no taking bullets, none of it, okay?”

“I’ll try,” Steve whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that was the first chapter! It's crazy to think that by the time you are reading these words this story's first chapter (at the very least) will be public.
> 
> Please comment if you liked as it is ALWAYS pleasant to hear from you all and I will always reply, and kudos are appreciated. You can Subscribe to the work to be notified when I update (Which I plan to do two weeks from the time this first chapter goes up and weekly from then on, depending on how smoothly the editing and polishing process goes.)
> 
> Thanks so much for reading and if you have any constructive criticism, feel free to leave that in the comments as well!


	2. "He mea e haʻi aku ai iā ʻoe"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All righty! So, I decided to create a [Spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4csBRFEKInUvjWpDm5XugN?si=Mj4ZlmEzSqORi59BNzFMCA) containing all of the songs that I listened to throughout this whole process. Music is a big part of my writing process so I am so happy to share it with all of you!
> 
> This one translates to "Something to tell you" I hope you enjoy and happy reading! ALSO! Some important stuff is on the endnotes so be sure to at least skim over those.
> 
> !!!MILD WARNING!!! There is a romantic shower scene but it's nothing super explicit, just a fluffy moment that felt fitting.

They stayed in the kitchen together for hours in relative silence, doing nothing but standing, existing in one another’s presence. It was now something Danny had a newfound, malicious thankfulness for. They had untangled themselves from one another at some point, settling on opposite sides of the counter. Danny sipped on the tea that he had started to make when he stormed into the kitchen in the first place. It was ice-cold but he drank it anyway. He needed the distraction to keep him sane. For a while, he mulled over the events of the last few hours. He was hyper-aware of every small sound around him and his eyes burned while his mind struggled to come to grips with their current situation.

The morning light was beginning to creep through the window. It made them both squint as the sun lit up their exhausted, sticky faces. Highlighting the lines and patches of darkness on their skin from a night of shed tears. In the light of day, Danny could see how wrecked Steve looked. His puffy eyes were distant and sunken in their sockets, his hair stuck up in a million different directions. The biggest problem with the picture was that he had lost his seemingly permanent, ‘Navy Seal posture’. He slouched forward, with his hands fretting over the hem of the old shirt he had slipped on before leaving the room. A shirt that Danny was sure belonged to him at some point in time.

“I better call Rachel,” Danny choked, his voice falling foreign on his own ears. “I’ll ask, see if we can have the kids for a few hours today.” The sound was so soft that he was unsure he had said anything at all, no that it mattered. He was thinking aloud more than actually addressing anyone when he said it. His hollow voice a million miles away, eyes glued to a spot on the floor where Steve’s feet were. Steve nodded.

“Yeah. It’s probably best if we don’t put it off. We should tell the team before Monday as well,” he replied. His voice was equally distant in tone as he stared with an unwavering gaze at a spot on the cupboards. It was obvious to Danny that his mind was a million miles away, he couldn’t help but wonder what was going through it. His jaw twitched as shifted his weight from foot to foot. His arms were folded, his eyes narrowing in concentration before lifting his head up, giving Danny a weary smile.

It was another thirty minutes after that before either of them made a move. Steve staggered out of the kitchen first, making his way up the stairs. Danny heard him mumble something about taking a shower, but his brain was too far gone to process it properly. As soon as he was alone, Danny found himself taking in the feeling. Scrutinizing and inspecting everything about it. 

‘ _Better get used to it. This is what it’ll be like from now on.’_ The voice in his head supplied making Danny sigh with exhaustion. Obviously, he and Steve had been alone before. They had been alone a lot, actually, even after they started their relationship. But this was different.

All the other times they had been alone there was an unspoken guarantee that Steve would come back. Even missions, dangerous situations with the task force felt safe. There, Danny knew that _he_ could step in. That _he_ could keep Steve safe. Now, for the first time since he and Steve had met all those years ago, that sureness was gone. The emptiness felt different. So instead of being normal and going about his day, Danny stood in the kitchen for a moment. He took in the emptiness of the room and tried to pretend he wasn’t suffocating.

After a few minutes, Danny’s cheeks were wet and the emptiness crushing his lungs had become too much to bear. He placed his empty mug in the sink, his body working on autopilot as he carried himself up the stairs. The soft sound of trickling water echoing down the hall eased his breath slightly. It didn’t even register when he opened the bathroom door quietly, but without hesitation. He felt himself stepping inside the already steamy room, but it was all instinct.

Steve turned around, his hands still on his head as he finished rinsing his hair. A tired smile bloomed on his face as he shifted around, making room so Danny had space to join him under the spray. He silently observed as Danny began stripping off all his clothes, letting out a relaxed sigh as his body slid in next to his.

Danny leaned against Steve's strong, bare chest, resting his head there for a long moment. His hands rested on his boyfriend’s pecs as he allowed the water to run over his body. Immediately, a strong pair of arms curled around Danny's waist, interlocking them as Danny let out a helpless sigh, his breath escaping him again. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do, Steve,” Danny mumbled into Steve’s bare chest.

Steve placed a hand under Danny’s chin, lifting his face gently to hold his gaze. “I know. Here’s what your gonna do. You,” He said, prodding a finger into Danny’s arm. “Are gonna stay here, and you’re gonna look after the team, and you’re gonna be as strong as you always are for Grace and Charlie. And then you’re gonna trust that I’m coming back, okay? Because there is _nothing_ that’s gonna stop me coming back to you, Danny. Nothing.” Steve’s voice was stern and serious, like a command, but his eyes held such tenderness as he spoke. Danny’s heart swelled at the words, nodding dumbly in agreement, believing everything Steve said.

Steve reached a hand behind Danny grabbing the bottle of apple-scented shampoo he knew he liked so much. Danny laughed gently as he watched Steve struggle in the wetness to pry open the bottle one-handed. He leaned back in Steve’s arms and popped open the cap for him with a ‘click’. Steve let go for a second, pouring the liquid into his palm before grabbing Danny’s shoulder with his clean hand. He turned him around softly and smiled to himself when Danny winced as he rubbed the cool liquid over his scalp.

Steve massaged the product into Danny’s hair, hands working in small, firm circles. His long fingers embedded themselves in the longer strands on top of Danny’s head and they worked. Shivers trickled down the back of Danny’s neck as Steve scratched blunt fingernails over his scalp. Steve took his time running his hands through his partner's hair, smoothing back the suds from his hairline every now and then, careful not to get any soap in Danny’s eyes. Once he was satisfied, Steve tilted Danny’s head back and guided him to rinse his hair. He angled Danny so he was under the spray as he carefully caressed his hands over his scalp from hairline to base, coaxing the suds out of his hair.

As soon as Steve was done with Danny’s hair, the shorter man turned around holding a bar of soap. He slowly began to run the bar over Steve’s skin. He started with his biceps before working his way up over his broad shoulders. His hands then moved to his chest and six-pack-laden stomach before turning him around and running a soaped-up hand over his back. He felt as the tension in Steve’s shoulders began to fade and melt under his touch.

There was a certain intimacy about the situation, the act of showering together. It was a shared tenderness as their hands roamed over one another’s bodies, lathering the soap into their skin in a silent dance, but it wasn’t sexual. Just intimate.

When he was done, Steve began to return the favour. He ran a soapy hand over Danny’s skin, his back plastered against Steve’s chest. Steve placed tiny, chaste kisses to the skin of the blond's shoulder and neck as he worked the suds over his body, there was no intent or ulterior motive to Steve’s actions. It was only a need to be near his partner, letting him know that he was still there for now, while he could be.

As Steve’s hands roamed, Danny’s muscles began to relax for the first time in hours. He felt like he could breathe, safe in Steve’s arms. Once they had finished up, they stepped out of the shower, wrapping towels around their waists. Both of them felt better, more refreshed.

After dressing, they made their way downstairs. Steve offered to cook breakfast to which Danny accepted gratefully, fishing his phone out of his pocket. Disappearing out of the back door. Perhaps his favourite fact about him and Steve’s relationship was the fact that they were both excellent cooks. It meant they never went hungry for good food and besides, Danny would never say no to Steve’s cooking. ‘ _Well, you're gonna go without it soon. Enjoy it while it lasts.’_ The little voice supplied.

Danny settled against the small table that lived outside as he dialled his ex-wife’s number. He chewed his lip as he listened to the soft coo of the phone as it rang in his ear, waiting for her to pick up.

“Danny?” Rachel answered. The confusion was audible in her voice. He couldn’t blame her for. He hardly ever called if it wasn’t his weekend with the kids.

“Hey, Rachel,” he sighed, not exactly looking forward to the ensuing conversation.

“Danny, is everything alright?” Rachel asked, concerned.

“Not… not exactly,”

“Where are you? Danny, are you hurt? Are you okay?”

“No, no. I’m fine, Rachel. I’m fine, it’s… we need the kids for a few hours,”

“The kids? What‒? Danny, please just tell me what’s happened,” Rachel begged. She read Danny like an open book, her worry coming to a head as he kept on avoiding her questions.

“It’s Steve,” Danny finally forced out. “He’s… he’s been reinstated by the Navy. He ships out on Thursday for Iraq,” he said. His chest clenched as he heard a small whimper through the receiver.

“Oh my…” Rachel trailed off, sniffling. When she spoke again, Danny could hear the wetness in her voice, and it twisted something in his heart. “Danny, I am so sorry, when did you find out?”

“He got the call this morning,” Danny explained, running a hand over his tired face. “We wanna tell Grace and Charlie as soon as possible. Give them time to process it all while Steve’s still here,” Danny explained, trying to get back to the point of the call. If he were honest with himself, he was quite proud that he hadn't broken down again.

“Of course, take them as long as you need,” Rachel replied, “I will tell them to pack their stuff for the night right away.”

“Thanks, Rachel… thank you,” Danny replied sincerely. Truly he was grateful for that fact that he and Rachel were on such good terms. “Steve’s making breakfast, I’ll tell him to make extra and be there in twenty,” he said, ending the call. The knots making a home in his stomach once again.

Danny grabbed his keys, leaving the house with a small peck from a flour-covered Steve who smeared batter on his jaw in the process‒Danny said he was a good cook. Not a neat one‒and then Danny was sliding into his Camaro. It felt strange to be in the driver’s seat of his car ‘ _Just one more thing to get used to.’_ the voice piped up. The thought brought tears to his eyes momentarily as he cursed himself. He was not going to start getting emotional over driving his own car. He refused.

* * *

The drive to Rachel’s was nauseating. His fingers drummed against the steering wheel; the radio silenced as Danny’s mind tossed impatiently between wanting to get to Rachel’s as fast as physics would allow him, and the drive never coming to an end. Before he could make his mind up about what he wanted, he was pulling up into his ex-wife’s driveway, his heart falling to his feet.

Danny took a long moment to brace himself. Being there, at Rachel’s, it was making it all too real. Danny’s stomach rolled uncomfortably, the nausea from that night making an ugly return. He heaved for breath has he scrubbed his burning eyes. He couldn’t be like this in front of the kids, they would know that something was up immediately, and Danny wasn’t strong enough to do this alone. He needed to compose himself and pretend that everything was okay until they made it back to his and Steve’s home. With a deep, shaky breath, he got out of the car, his limbs feeling like led.

If Danny said he didn’t take his sweet time with the small walk to the front door, it would make him a dirty, dirty liar. When he did reach the door, he knocked softly rather than using his key and he did it solely to buy himself a few extra moments before he would have to face Grace and Charlie. Rachel answered the door with a pitiful smile, pulling him into a hug.

"Hey there Danny, how are you holding up?" She asked, making no move to let him go.

"Could be better. It'll get worse the closer it gets to Thursday," Danny explained honestly. His emotions had never been something he could hide from Rachel, even when they were still together. Danny gave Rachel a quick squeeze, letting her go just as Charlie came bounding up to him. His overnight bag in hand and his sister trailing not too far behind.

“I haven’t told them anything,” Rachel whispered. She placed a hand on Charlie’s back as he reached the two of them with a loud shriek of “Daddy!” slamming into his father at full force. Danny reached down smiling and ruffled his son’s hair much to the five-year old’s protest. Danny smiled a silent 'thanks' in Rachel's direction.

“Hey monkey,” Danny said fondly as Grace joined them, with a huge, sweet smile on her face.

“Hey Danno,” Grace greeted, giving her dad a hug that lasted a beat too long to be able to say that she thought everything was okay. But what could Danny say? She was a smart fourteen-year-old with a detective for a father. She had to take after him at least to some degree.

“I hope you two are hungry cause I got your uncle Steve at home making pancakes!” Danny called out in his best impression of his usual happy excited self when he was around the kids. It was obviously good enough for Charlie. The boy looked up with wide eyes screaming ‘Pancakes!’ excitedly before bolting toward the car. It brought a genuine smile to Danny’s face.

“Be good for your Father and Uncle Steve!” Rachel called as Danny and Grace trailed behind an over-excited Charlie who was waiting at the car. Grace called out over her shoulder in agreement as Danny made quick work of buckling Charlie in the back seat, Grace clambering into the passenger’s side.

For a second, if he allowed it, Danny could almost tell himself that everything was normal.

The ride back to their place was strange. Charlie chatted the whole time, telling Danny about how he was picked first for the kickball game they played in gym class the day before. How it came down to a tie-breaker round and he kicked the ball so hard that his team scored a home run and won the game. Grace talked about how she got an A+ on her physics paper and got the highest score in her class, a swell of pride hitting Danny’s chest before she went on to talk about the careers day that was coming up soon. Danny had a strange suspicion that she would be doing ‘detective’ once again. But it also may have been Danny hoping.

After a while, Danny almost managed to let himself forget the reason he went to go and pick up his kids. That was until he pulled into his and Steve’s driveway and reality crashed down on his head. It came like a piano from one of the old loony tunes shows. The difference? Unlike the cartoon characters, Danny was unsure if he would survive this.

“Dad!” Grace called, pulling Danny out of his own head. Apparently, she said something to him that he completely missed. The back door slammed shut as a blur of the youngest Williams zoomed past Danny’s window and up to the door. “Are you okay? You look a little pale,” Grace questioned, eyeing her father. Danny was usually amazed and grateful that his daughter had inherited his observational skills and a keen eye. But right now, he really wished that she was another oblivious teenager with her head buried in a phone 24/7.

“I'm fine, Gracie,” Danny answered with a tight smile, popping open his door and sliding out.

He started making his way up to the house where the door was already left ajar by his son. As soon as he got inside, Danny was met with the delicious aroma of Steve’s pancakes and the sound of Charlie’s elated screams of laughter. He watched as Steve hoisted the boy into the air. “Uncle Steve!” Charlie screamed. Steve cradled him over his arm, tickling him mercilessly making growling noises as he did so.

The sight brought a smile to Danny’s face and he counted himself lucky that he had not only found a man who loved him like Steve did, but was also great with kids. A man who loved Danny’s children as his own.

Steve tossed Charlie into the air once the laughing had subsided. Catching him in his arms he smiled before lowering the boy back onto the ground and shooting Danny a nervous, knowing look. That look set alarm bells off in Danny’s head as he felt himself reeling all over again, but it died soon as Grace walked in behind him, closing the door. She brushed passed her father, falling into Steve’s open arms easily, greeting him with a strong hug.

“How you doing Gracie?” Steve asked with a fondness that warmed Danny’s heart, as he stepped back to look at Grace. He led her toward the table where breakfast was all laid out as she started telling him about what was happening in school. Keeping half an ear open as Grace spoke, Danny realised that Steve was getting more details about Grace’s life than he did in the car ride over. ‘ _She won’t have him to talk to anymore, will she?’_ the intrusive little voice said, and Danny mentally shook himself to dismiss the notion.

Charlie was hot on their heels as they made their way to the table, zooming past them all and hoping up on the chair closest to the food. Danny couldn’t help but think how perfectly serene this all was. A picturesque life that was about to burn to the ground with one conversation.

Breakfast had a heavy atmosphere to it that Danny was pretty sure the two younger Williams noticed. Danny picked at his food, pushing the fluffy brown circle around with his fork while Steve made small talk, his hand resting on Danny’s thigh and rubbing small, soothing circles onto the fabric of his shorts. Once they had cleared up and placed the dishes in the sink, they moved to the living room.

“Soooo…” Grace started when they were all settled. There was a sort of pseudo-innocence in her voice that made Danny’s stomach lurch as she stared up at them with big eyes. “Why did you guys need to take us so suddenly this weekend?” She asked.

Danny held his breath as Steve made a sound as if he would take it upon himself to reply. But before he spoke, he looked over at Danny. He had the colour stripped from his cheeks as he sat looking sickly pale. But, instead of taking the easy way out, Danny shook his head taking a deep breath and closing his eyes as he took the plunge. “Actually, we have something to tell you guys,” Danny began as curious eyes looked up. It put him right on edge, as though he were on stage in front of a million people. “… Your Uncle Steve has to go away for a little while,” Danny forced out, trying to make it sound as basic as he could for Charlie’s sake.

“Go?” Charlie cried, “Go where? Uncle Steve, I don’t want you to leave!” He screamed as he rushed into Steve’s arms. He clutched the man as if someone were about to walk in and take Steve away there and then. Danny chanced a look at Grace who was looking between the two of them. She wore a confused, horrified expression that has plastered itself on her face. After a second her eyes settled on Steve whose face had gone totally stoic as she searched his eyes for some sort of explanation.

“I got a call from the Navy last night,” Steve explained, sounding like a broken man. He was just addressing Grace who was old enough to understand the implications. Tears spilt from her eyes letting out a small sob as grief and sadness bloomed on her face. Steve placed a gentle hand over the remaining one of Charlie’s ears that wasn’t blocked by the weight of his head on Steve’s shoulder as he cuddled up to him before he continued. “I ship out for Iraq on Thursday. Eighteen months,” Steve said, laying all of their cards on the table as Grace broke down in sobs.

“War?” She cried and all Steve could do was nod. "But... It's such a long time! Why can't you say no! We need you here Uncle Steve!" She tried to reason. She was a fighter, just like her father and it put a hard lump in Steve’s throat too.

"I can't, sweetheart. I made a promise that if the Navy ever needed me again, I would go right away," Steve explained.

“What does Uncle Steve have to do in war?” Charlie slipped in innocently. He looked to his father who could do nothing but stammer, opening and closing his mouth like a fish as he grasped for the words that he didn’t have.

“It means he has to go and fight some bad guys with some of his friends far, far away Charlie,” Grace replied, saving her father from his stammering, her cracked voice pushing through her tears. It broke Danny’s heart to see his daughter all grown up and taking charge for her brother’s sake.

“That’s Right," Steve confirmed to the now sobbing boy in his arms. "And it also means that I’m gonna be gone for a very long time. So, you need to promise me that you’ll look after your sister and Danno for me,” Steve continued. Charlie balled Steve's shirt up. in his hands letting out a whine. “Can you do that for me? Can you look after them?” Steve asked again in his warm, calm voice. This time Charlie nodded for confirmation, rubbing his face in Steve’s chest leaving a small wet patch from the tears. “Atta boy,” Steve whispered, scooting up to make room for Grace who had started making his way toward the sofa to squish between him and Danny and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

The rest of the weekend the kids refused to leave Steve's side. They helped him cook. They sat on either side of him on the couch, resting a head on each of his shoulders while they watched TV that evening. The two of them even went so far as to sneak into Steve and Danny's bedroom that night and Danny thanked every god he knew of that it was one of the nights he and Steve decided to sleep fully clothed. Grace and Charlie crawled their way onto the bed and forced themselves between the small gap between where Danny was resting in Steve's strong arms, laying on them refusing to move until Danny rolled tearing himself from Steve’s grip making both men laugh fondly as they snuggled between the two of them.

When the time came to drop them back off at Rachel's the next afternoon, more tears were shed. Grace and Charlie made Danny promise that he would pick them up early from school on Thursday. They told him they had to come with to drop Steve off at the harbour, and Danny wasn't going to argue.

* * *

Next came time to tell the team. They gathered everyone on the small beachfront on Sunday afternoon outside the house for a barbecue and broke the news. They all took it about as well as could be expected. Max, Jerry, Lou, and Chin all sat stone-faced staring at the sand, not knowing what to say or do. Kono lashed out. She screamed at Steve to be careful with a; “I’m telling you now Steve, I am not afraid to fly into an active war zone in order to woop your ass if need be!” Before laughing and crying at the same time.

Chin and Lou both second her statement, Jerry boasting that he could probably track Steve if necessary. They also teamed up on promising to keep Danny out of trouble while their commander was away. This wasn't without Danny’s complaint, sighting “I’m not some toddler that needs looking after! I am a grown man who is perfectly capable of handling myself while my boyfriend is away, thank you!” It would be a lie to say that everyone made it through the whole ordeal with totally dry eyes. Once it was all finished, they pulled themselves into a group hug before settling back and enjoying the evening together.

“You know…” Steve said that evening while they lay in bed together. "There’s something else I’ve been meaning to ask,” he whispered into the nape of Danny's neck. Placing soft kisses on the spot. Danny hummed both in satisfaction and for Steve to go on, eyes closed and already half asleep in Steve’s arms. “There is this military spouse support group gala that I found is happening on Wednesday. I was thinking it might be a good idea for you and me to go. You know, so you can talk to other people who know what it's like. Maybe meet some of my colleagues,” Steve said, his thumb running small circles into Danny’s arm as he spoke.

Danny lifted his head from the pillow, glaring daggers at Steve over his shoulder. “Military. Spouse. Support group?” he asked, almost mockingly “You gotta be kidding me. I think I’ll pass thanks, Steve,” He said laying back on the pillow. “I have all the support I could ever need from the team, thank you very much,”

“Come on Danny,” Steve whispered as seductively as he possibly could, nosing the back of Danny’s neck “For me?” he asked placing small kisses on his shoulder.

“No, Steve,” Danny replied almost too seriously for what Steve was currently doing to him. “You will never in a million years convince me to go to a support group gala,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, SOOOOOO... I know this chapter is very much early (8 days) but it's a bit of an "I'm sorry" present for what I'm about to say. 
> 
> Chapter 3 is giving me quite a bit of grief and everything is kind of up in flames in that sector so I WILL be taking two weeks to try and sort out the dumpster fire. This means that 3 will be up on the 19th of July and then (hopefully) weekly updates from that point on. 
> 
> As always, please leave comments as I love hearing what you think of the chapter and also let me know what you think of the playlist if you give it a listen and I'll always reply. Kudo's and bookmarks are always appreciated and you can subscribe to the work to get notified when it updates. Thanks so much for understanding and much love <3


	3. “Mākou wale. Me nā tausani o nā malihini”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! This is a day early, but I am just so glad to be done with this chapter I couldn't wait! this one's called 'Just us. With thousands of visitors.' 
> 
> Please do forgive me for the mess that has been my upload schedule. This chapter has literally fought me tooth and nail for well over the last month and a bit and there was nothing I could do about it.
> 
> This was originally supposed to be a short, cute lil fluffy filler chapter with some mild angst before we head into the hell territory that is the rest of this thing... APPARENTLY the chapter had other plans and turned into a literal monster! What I now set before you is a 9240 word monster of angst and irrational fears spurred on by new friendships. 
> 
> and as always [here is the spotify link](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4csBRFEKInUvjWpDm5XugN?si=ekH67Nk5SaWIuJQ6kIcU7A) to this Fic's inspiration playlist

“I _still_ can’t believe that you went behind my back and RSVP'd yes to an event I specifically told you I did not wanna go to!” Danny called out to Steve from the bathroom where he was fretting furiously over his bow tie.

By Wednesday morning, Steve hadn’t exactly _convinced_ Danny to go to the Gala evening, so much as he had managed to force him against his will. Steve, however, didn’t regret his actions. Sure, he felt like crap for going behind Danny’s back and manipulating him, but he kept telling himself that it was for Danny’s own good‒which it was‒so, he just stood back and took whatever Danny threw his way.

Once he was finally satisfied, giving the tie one last firm wiggle, Danny stepped out of the bathroom. His blood was still boiling, flexing his hands to try and calm himself down as he thundered down the hall. As he entered the bedroom Danny stopped dead in his tracks, his face turning up into a smile as he was greeted by the sight of Steve in his perfectly manicured ‘Navy dinner dress white’ uniform.

It was simple, consisting of a white dress shirt and bow tie, similar to Danny’s own. The major difference came with his blazer. It sported three gold stripes across the shoulder boards with a small star above the top stripe. There were six polished gold buttons, three on each side and two smaller ones in the middle bringing the blazer to a close. Above his left breast pocket were the small medals that Steve had obtained throughout the years. The sight absolutely took Danny’s breath away and for a moment, his anger subsided.

“Well Dang,” Danny sighed low as he allowed for his eyes to roam, his tongue darting out to wet his suddenly dry lips.

“Like what you see, detective?” Steve teased as soon as he noticed Danny’s lingering gaze, a charming smile splitting face as he waved his hands down the length of his own body.

“You know… I would say that’s an understatement, Lieutenant Commander,” Danny replied with a devilish smirk playing on his lips. “Now…” He trailed off, walking slightly closer to his boyfriend. “I get that tonight you're supposed to be viewed as an honourable asset to our countries armed forces and all,” He tugged on the lapels of Steve’s blazer almost as though he were fixing them, leaning in. “But would it be hugely inappropriate to tell you _just_ how _much_ I want you on top of me in this uniform right now?” Danny asked, looking up at Steve, his pupils were blown and eyes lustful.

“Well…” Steve lulled, leaning down to brush their noses. “You better act fast while you still have the chance,” He teased. A smirk playing on the corner of his lips as he raised his eyebrows suggestively. 

Then Danny’s face hardened. Steve’s own face fell as he watched the playful smile wipe from Danny’s lips forming into the now-familiar grimace that he had been wearing all day. Steve tried to keep a straight face as he mentally groaned in frustration when he realised that he had successfully managed to tick Danny off once more, and before he even had time to correct himself, the blond was pulling away.

“You’re right,” Danny bit out. “Even if it did matter, you’re leaving tomorrow anyway,”

Danny’s bitter laugh grated painfully in Steve’s ears, the joke never reaching his voice, taking on a more malicious tone as he crossed his arms over his chest and turned his back on Steve. “I gotta shoot my shot while you’re still here, don’t I? Lest I be alone for the next year and a half” he paused, holding a finger in the air and whipping around. “Oh wait… I am!” He deadpanned and all Steve could do was sigh and back off for a second to give his boyfriend some space.

Over the last four days, Steve and Danny’s relationship had been a tricky thing to manoeuvre. Since the call, Danny was either in a constant bad mood, brooding or lashing out. Steve couldn’t exactly blame him for any of those, but it was almost like had to walk on eggshells every time he and Danny had a conversation. And as patient as Steve was, the fighting was starting to get old, and on this particular day, Danny had been worse than ever.

When they woke up, everything was fine for all of thirty minutes. They talked and kissed and laughed like lovesick teenagers and life was good.

Then Steve made the stupid mistake of mentioning that he needed to find the time to locate his duffel and pack for the next day. That phrase set Danny off for the rest of the morning. After that, Danny wouldn’t say more than two words to him. They had breakfast in silence and before Steve was even done eating, Danny was packing his plate into the sink and walking out the door calling out that he was going for a run.

That would have been the end of it were it not for, what was in hindsight, Steve’s own stupidity.

Almost as soon as the door had shut, Steve’s phone went off sowing a text from an old SEAL buddy, Brad Haxley. If he were honest, Brad was probably one of Steve’s best friends from the military, and he also happened to be the husband of the Military Spouse support group chair and organiser, Adelaide. His wife was the woman responsible for putting the whole gala together, so it didn’t take a scientist to guess what he wanted.

_‘Hey Smooth-dog! U commin 2nite? Addy wants a headcount.’_

Sighing at the words on the screen, Steve typed a quick yes on his and Danny’s behalf. Danny had made it very clear that he did not want to go to the gala, but Steve knew it could help him, so that’s what he told himself. That he was helping Danny.

Taking advantage of his absence was wrong and Steve’s stomach curled in protest as soon as the message had been sent. He _knew_ that Danny would be upset, but there was no arguing with anyone once Steve had made a commitment. Especially not with a military event.

It was selfish, malicious, and Steve hated himself for it. But at the same time, he didn’t care. He told himself for the thousandth time it was for Danny’s own good while he got up from the table and trudged upstairs. From there, Steve guiltily began packing his duffle, finishing the task in record time. In twenty minutes, he had it zipped, sat by the bedroom door and ready to go.

About an hour later, Danny came back. His shirt was damp, and his face was flushed, a thin sheen of sweat bringing a glow to his skin, a sight that made Steve’s stomach curl with want. Danny was visibly calmer after the run, which Steve cursed as his blood ran cold, knowing he was about to ruin it. Danny walked up with a husky “M’ sorry ‘bout this morning babe,’ and placed a long kiss to Steve’s mouth drawing out a hum that turned to a moan, clawing its way up from deep inside him before Danny pulled back, disappearing into the shower.

As much as Steve enjoyed it, the peace was short-lived. Almost as soon as Danny had calmed down completely, Steve broke the news of the Gala, sending Danny into another fit of anger. This time, he refused to so much as look at Steve and when he saw the packed duffel in their bedroom, he left again, but that time he didn’t tell Steve where he was going. He returned two hours later, sliding in wordlessly to get ready for the event which brought them up to this point.

Danny was glaring daggers at his boyfriend, hot tears falling from his eyes, but there wasn’t so much as a hint of sadness. “Do you know, this is the last possible way I want to spend my last night with you?” Danny asked as if Steve were an idiot. “It is our _last_ night together for the next year and a fucking half, Steve!” Danny yelled in much the same way he used to do with Rachel over the phone back when he and Steve first met. His voice rose in volume and his face turning bright red.

Steve had to clench his, now ticking, jaw to stop himself from snapping back at the blonde, refusing to say anything before he said something he would regret later. Steve had a responsibility to be at the gala. Especially because of his rank, and the fact that Danny couldn’t realise or was too stubborn to accept that fact made Steve's anger fester like an open wound.

When he saw that Steve wasn’t about to make a retort, Danny continued.

“We should be at home, having dinner together, or sitting on the beach watching the water, or in our bed, having sex, or… Christ! We could even just be sat on opposite ends of the couch in silence and it would beat going to some stuffy Gala!” He cried, drawing imaginary boxes with his hands as he ticked off each activity before one hand flew to his hip and the other pinched the bridge of his nose before he continued.

“…A Gala, just by the way. where I will be doing one of two things: either standing by your side. Smiling passively as you talk with your fellow soldiers. Or have to sit through about million conversations that consist of ‘it’s okay to be worried’ and ‘we are all here for you’. Which are both blatant lies, just by the way!” Danny went off. His face flushed by the end of it. Steve just closed his eyes, bit his tongue, and nodded, because as much as he hated to admit it, Danny was right. About all of it.

“And let’s not even start on the sick looks we are gonna get for being a same-sex couple. As accepting as the world might be Steve, Military men are by far the least progressive,” Steve opened his mouth to defend his men but was immediately shut down with a harsh ‘don’t even try and deny it!’

“That is not something that I want to subject myself or you, as my partner too. You understand?”

Steve frowned at Danny's words and his stomach lurched. Not once, in all the years he had known Danny, had he so much as hinted as giving a damn about his sexuality or what people thought. It was horrifying to think that now he was starting to allow the self-conscious thoughts in.

“No,” Danny commanded, staring at Steve with a pointed finger. Annoyance was written clearly on his face. “Don’t you dare start to pity me for that!” he warned because of course, he knew what Steve was thinking. “I am _not_ scared. And I am most certainly not ashamed. I have been out too long and had to deal with too much to start being ashamed of myself now.

“But it’s the military, and I am not about to stand next to you knowing full well what is going through people’s heads. Not even _people's_ heads, your colleague's heads! The people who are responsible for backing you up and keeping you alive for the next year and a half! I don’t like the idea that my presence alone has the ability to put your life at risk if it comes down to it,”

“Danny, come on, that' ridiculous! It’s-”

“Save it. Steve. We’re gonna be late, and what? like half of your military training goes into being punctual so we wouldn’t want the world to end, now would we?” Danny quipped as he brushed past Steve, heading straight for the car.

* * *

Even though neither of them thought it was possible, the ride to the venue was even tenser than anything else had been all week.

Although he hated it, Danny spent the ride comparing the atmosphere to what he felt before he and Rachel had reached their breaking point. Steve had a white-knuckle grip on the steering wheel and Danny watched as he worked his jaw, his gaze heavy and unwavering on the road ahead. Danny felt like a horrible person, for the way he acted and for his loss of control. The worst thing was that he couldn't even tell himself that it would get better. That they would fix it. Because there is no time and no guarantee. He was just so goddamn stressed and exhausted. The knowledge that in a few hours Steve would be gone with no guarantee of ever returning... it was messing Danny up.

“We’re here,” Steve barked as he pulled up to the venue.

Danny looked out of the window and the fire in his gut flared. He watched Strong Navy men in uniforms identical to Steve’s escorting beautiful women in their finest dresses. They were intermingled with Navy women led in by men in black suites identical to Danny’s. Then, he looked at Steve and himself. Still sat in the car. The only same-sex couple in sight and his heart sank.

“Hey, you good?” Steve asked laying a warm hand over Danny’s, his eyes filled with concern. And _that_ was the last drop in the bucket that was Danny’s patience for the entire situation.

“I’m fine, Steve! Just dandy.” he bit as he tore his hand form of Steve’s grip. Danny needed to move right then before he turned around and beat the crap out of Steve, something he didn’t fancy doing with almost all of Oahu’s Navy population there and present, ready to take to Steve’s defence in a heartbeat. “Let’s just get this over with so I can go to bed,” Danny hissed, whipping off the seatbelt and leaning up to open the car door.

Steve, grabbed Danny by the arm, pulling him back down into his seat “Would you just drop the damned attitude already!” cried out, “I don’t wanna be here any more than you do, but I am expected to be here Danny, and so are you!

“Well, that’s a lie!” Danny scoffed. “If you didn’t wanna be here you wouldn’t have gone behind my back to get us to come!” Danny said gesturing around “And yet, here I am. Wasting my last night with my boyfriend at some event. For what, I don’t know. But I’m here, so let’s just go in like nothing’s wrong and get it over with,” Danny finished, looking at Steve expectantly.

At that, Steve felt what little composure he had left dissipate, “It’s a military _spouse_ event for God’s sake!” Steve yelled, coming to his wit's end but suddenly feeling exhausted.

“I am not some military wife, Steven! We aren’t even married!”

“I know that Danny, I know. But have you stopped for a second to consider that this could help you? These women know what it’s like. They have lived through this all before. This is your first tour, so why is it so hard for you to get it through your thick skull that maybe you could use some help?”

“Help with what Steve?” Danny screeched, shrugging, and looking around the car as of the answer would pop up out of nowhere. “Do you _really_ think that the thing that gonna help will be standing around and listening to these women list all the reasons I should be afraid of the phone for the next eighteen months? Or do you think I should rather focus on the post box?”

“Come on Danno,” Steve sighed, really wanting everything to just be fixed. “I’m just thinking that if I introduce you to people who know what to expect it might come as a little less of a shock when things happen,”

“When thinks happen?” Danny scoffed “Oh yeah, I can’t wait to sit in a knitting circle with good old Debby and Delores while we discuss how lonely we are. Then we can go on to thinking of all the possible reasons you haven’t called us in six months. And then! Now, this is the best part! When we have done all that, we can all sit and wonder if you were ambushed while unarmed and-” Killed. That's what Danny wanted to say, but he hadn’t gotten himself to the point where he could accept that as a possibility. But judging by the sudden grimace on Steve’s face, he understood what Danny was getting at. 

“All I’m tryna say is that I am gonna lose my God damn mind worrying over you Steve. I don’t need to worry about other people’s husbands to boot. Got it?”

Steve sighed. Resting his head on the Steering wheel, careful not to crease his uniform and taking a deep breath. This really wasn’t a conversation they should be having in the parking lot of a military function the night before Steve left to go to war. It wasn’t a conversation they should be having at all, quite frankly. But there they were.

“Look. I am trying to be patient with you because I love you. I Love you so much and I get it-” Steve began with little success. He was immediately interrupted.

“Get what, Steve?” Danny questioned, raising an expectant eyebrow before continuing. “I know that that this is scary for you too. I can’t even imagine what you must be feeling right now, but do you have any idea how many hours I stay awake at night? I lay beside you, coming up with all the possible ways you could get yourself hurt, or imprisoned, or tortured. Which. Believe me. I have enough of,” Danny explained and Steve dropped his head in a look of guilt.

“I have thought of everything. From bombs to bullets, to sharks, to Cthulhu rising out of the ocean and taking your ship down with him. I had a three-hour conversation with Jerry yesterday. And you wanna know what it was about?” He asked rhetorically, raising an eyebrow at Steve.

“It was the statistical chances of hypothetical 'old god’s' rising out of the ocean at any given time in the next eighteen months. Not only that but also having an alien abduction take place in a war zone!” Danny admitted, much to Steve’s amusement. The brunette snickering beside Danny. As much as wanted to sustain his fury, he couldn’t take his own actions seriously and he started to smile, and then he took one look at Steve’s smiling face and he found himself laughing a little too.

“But you know what?” Danny asked his tone a little lighter. “After that conversation, I felt better because I have known Jerry for years and I trust him, and his insight and he understands me and what I need,” He explained. “I feel like I am going nuts and you haven’t even left for the harbour yet Steve. You know better than anyone that strangers getting in my business claiming they will help because they have ‘experience’ isn’t the thing that’s going to help me get through this. It’s gonna be the people who are already in our lives that are just as clueless and me,” Danny explained.

Steve and Danny looked at one another before peeling into laughter. The force of the chuckles shook their whole bodies. Steve leaned in, still laughing, their lips inches apart, and then they were kissing. It was quick at first. Short pecks placed between laughs that then started to linger. Then the kisses grew longer, and the laughter started to dissipate. And before they knew it, they were making out like teenagers in a parking lot.

“What are we doing Danny?' Steve asked, resting his forehead against Danny’s as he pulled away, panting for air. "We spent the last week on edge, we shouldn’t be fighting like this, especially not now,” He said, his hand reaching over to tangle in Danny’s, leaning in again as he did so their lips met over the console in a quick peck. “What do you say we get outa here? I’ll make up some excuse if anyone asks,” Steve offered.

“It’s fine. We’ve come all this way and as you said, you’re expected. Also, I didn’t spend half an hour trying to tie a bow for this stupid suit only for no one to see me wearing it,”

Steve smiled. “We won’t stay long. Two hours, max. I promise," he leaned over and gave Danny one more kiss on the lips and slid out of the car.

* * *

Danny had always been very comfortable in his own skin. He knew who he was, and he stopped feeling ashamed of his sexuality when he was 17. He had struggled with himself for years to escape the guilt and he didn’t plan to throw it away any time soon. But, for some reason, walking up to the venue with Steve made him feel like a closeted teenager with something to hide all over again.

As soon as they made it to the door, Danny felt like they were met with a thousand eyes. He could feel them staring. Judging them. Targeting Steve as someone not to look out for while in the war zone. Danny knew it was all in his head, that no one cared, but at the same time, his brain was telling him that he was he putting his boyfriend in danger. 

The term ‘gala’ had obviously been pinned onto the event with an extremely loose meaning to go with it, but then again, Danny wasn’t sure how high to place his expectations for a support group _anything,_ really.

It was as extravagant as an empty school gym with a small, makeshift stage and a few balloons and streamers strewn across the walls could be. There was light instrumental music playing from the speakers that hung from the roof and janky metal tables with no cloths pushed against the walls with light hors d'oeuvres. It was almost laughable. But at the same time, Danny wasn’t exactly surprised.

He and Steve were there out of courtesy and expectation and the invitation came over text. There weren’t even any tables to sit at. It more of a mix and mingle type social evening if he was honest which, to Danny, was almost worse.

Steve’s hand rested on his lower back as they made their way inside and Danny almost had a heart attack. He arched his back away from the touch while his eyes darted around the room at a mile a minute, scrutinising every detail to make sure no one saw what happened. The action didn’t go unnoticed by Steve who raised his brows.

Danny knew full well that he was being irrational. But the louder, more obnoxious part of his brain told him that all it took was the wrong person looking at them to put Steve’s life at risk. Danny wasn’t an idiot. He had read countless reports of soldiers who had stood back. Watched their fellow soldiers perish because they disagreed with their race, or their gender, or their sexuality. These people who believed, wholeheartedly, that certain people weren’t worthy of serving their country. Of surviving a war.

Danny lay awake with nightmares of Steve dying at war and more often than not, he brought himself to tears. All of the situations that plagued Danny’s nightmare terrified him. But Steve being allowed to perish because someone saw them together? That scared Danny the most. It scared him because out of all the terrible scenarios that Danny brain could possibly produce, that was that _one_ scenario that would be totally Danny’s fault. And if he let that happen, he would never forgive himself.

The look of hurt on Steve’s ripped Danny’s heart out of his chest, but he just told himself that it was for Steve’s own good and ventured into the crowd of people. He bobbed and weaved between all the people chatting between themselves, ensuring that Steve was near but distant. He moved, but he had no clue where he was headed. He kept telling himself that if he could just keep under the radar, then it would all be okay. As long as no one recognised-

“Commander McGarret!” A chipper voice called from behind them, cutting the thought short. Danny winced. ‘ _Just act natural, pretend that everything’s fine’_ the voice in his head called. It was a strange thought because everything _was_ fine. They really had nothing to be scared of. ‘ _Except Steve getting killed because of you’_ the intrusive little thought spoke.

Bracing himself and turning around, he saw a young man, not more than twenty-seven making his way toward them. His raven hair was tucked beneath a white military cap, his blue eyes locked onto Steve and a young girl in a magenta gown trailing after him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Steve’s face light up.

“Ron?” Steve cried. Throwing his arms open he took the few short strides to meet the other man. They pulled one another into a hug, both men patting the others back as they did so. “How are you? I haven’t heard from you since what? 2007?” Steve asked as he pulled away, settling by Danny’s side.

“Has it really been that long?” Ron replied, a small laugh edging into his voice, a tanned hand rubbing over the nape of his neck, scratching softly while he chuckled. “Last time I saw you I was still a newbie dangling off the side of the ship on the pulley tryna clean the barnacles off the hull,”

“You know, to this day I have never heard a guy scream and complain like you did. You shrieked like a child, begging to be let up,”

“There were sharks! Circling me! I was screaming for my life!”

“You hadn’t finished the job we sent you down there to do. Shark or no shark, I wasn’t gonna let you up until you were done,” Steve teased. Ron had a look of sarcastic shock written on his face before laughter took a hold of both soldiers.

The pretty girl stood next to Ron’s face lit up, her pretty brown eyes widening and her mouth falling agape “Wait!” She cried out, hitting Ron’s arm softly. “This is the Lieutenant Commander that left you hanging on the side of a boat with the Sharks in the water? I thought you made that story up!” her eyes sparkled as she turned her head to take Steve in, her eyes grazing up and down the length of him as she made the connection.

Danny couldn’t help but notice that she was exactly the kind of girl that Danny might have found himself pursuing had he not met Steve. She was small and slim, her long, silky brown hair falling in perfect curls over her shoulders. Her elegant, dainty hands that had curled around Ron’s bicep were donned with French tips and the tanned skin of her face was virtually flawless, the plump red lips pulling into a smile to reveal perfect white teeth.

“Wait! You dangled a guy off of a boat with Sharks in the water?” Danny asked once he was done admiring, looking up at Steve with wide eyes, shaking his head, and shooting Steve one more bewildered glance before turning and looking to Ron.

He was by no means scrawny or fearful, but then again, the story they were telling took place ages ago. On the contrary, Ron had a powerful, commanding presence that seemed to radiate off of him that was not dissimilar to Steve’s, although the hierarchy in the group was clear.

Danny watched as Ron’s face lit up in realisation, snapping his fingers quietly. “Oh yeah!” he said, looking between Danny and the brunette girl, tapping his forehead with the open palm of his hand. “I totally forget to introduce you all,” He looked, smiling up at Steve before taking a second glance at Danny and the girl before clearing his throat. “Right, Jessica. This is Lieutenant Commander,” he paused pointing a finger at Steve with a questioning glance. “You ate still Lieutenant Commander, right?” he questioned with a smile, Steve nodded his head once in confirmation. “Okay so, this is Lieutenant Commander Steven McGarrett,”

Steve smiled warmly at the girl and shook her hand delicately as Ron continued. “And Commander McGarrett, this is my fiancée, Jessica,” He introduced gesturing to Jessica grandly who sent a small wave and quiet ‘hello’ in Steve and Danny’s direction.

“Nice to meet you,” Steve smiled back at the girl. “And, Danny, this is…” Steve trailed off with a smile. “It’s been so long I’m not even sure of your rank,” Steve laughed before continuing. “Uhh… This is Ronny Rodriguez. One of the best rookies I ever trained,” Steve finished, giving Ron a proud smile. Danny didn’t miss it when Ron’s chest puffed out slightly as Danny grabbed his hand for a firm handshake mumbling a ‘hey, how are ya?’ “And Ronny, this is Detective Danny Williams, my boyf-”

Danny’s brain panicked at the impending word that was about to be coming out of Steve’s mouth and he cut in with the only other ‘B’ word in his vocabulary. “Buddy!” he called, tensing, and cutting a hand through the air as he chuckled nervously. “Pal! Friend! Colleague!” he went on nervously, ensuring that Ronny and Jessica ignored that last word of Steve’s sentence.

He ticked a nervous smile as all eyes fell on him, smiles turning awkward. He could feel Steve’s horrified and confused expression burning the side of his face as he foundered to clear the air. “Partners,” Danny with a tone of finality and then he closed his eyes and prayed for the floor to swallow him whole. “Steve and I are work partners. I’m a detective and he’s my partner. That’s it,” Danny explained, swiping his hands in opposite directions in the air with a grimace.

Steve barked out a single, harsh, hissing breath, scoffing at Danny with a hurt glance before muttering a soft ‘yeah, that’s it’ in agreement. He took a step away from Danny and turned his attention back to Ron, smiling and starting the conversation back up.

Danny stood there for another ten minutes, Steve, Ronny and Jessica all chatting together as Steve pointedly ignored Danny’s presence in a way that was noticeable, but only to Danny. As they talked, Danny felt something slowly taking over his system. The muscles in his arm twitched with a need to move and his throat felt tight.

There was an insatiable itch bubbling under his skin that he knew he couldn’t scratch and upon a deeper look, Danny concluded that it was the feeling progressively more familiar feeling of ‘move away before you hit him’, an emotion Danny was learning wasn’t to be taken lightly.

“Right!” Danny cut in, his tone overly chipper as he clapped his hands together, bringing the attention of the group onto him, a twinge of anger spiking through him as he saw Steve’s blank and bored expression. “Well, it was lovely meeting you two, but I’m gonna go grab something to eat. Congrats on the engagement,” Danny said.

His gaze turned to Steve who didn’t even spare him a glance. “Right, you,” He said in the same tone you would use when remembering you have to take a nasty dose of medicine, glaring at Steve. “You do… whatever, and I’ll find you later,” Danny stated plainly before turning and cutting his way through the crowd before he could get an answer, not that he thought he would.

Danny made quick work of weaving his way through the crowd, making his way to the snacks. He grabbed something that had an olive skewered onto it with a toothpick and shoved it into his mouth, settling against the table, his head buzzing. For a while, he snacked on the food and silently observed the crowed in solitude. Occasionally, his eyes drifted to where Jessica Steve and Ron were still chatting, smiles printed on all of their faces. He stared for a long moment before jealousy and guilt curled in his stomach, forcing him to look away.

The solitude, however, was short-lived as a young, pretty blonde woman stormed over to him, pushing her way through the crowd. Her expression and demeanour were much the same as Danny’s had been just minutes before. Much like Danny, she stopped at the table and threw a piece of food into her mouth before sulkily settling next to him with a half huff, half groan escaping her bright red lips. Danny watched as her bright blue eyes glared daggers into the crowed, a wrinkle setting in the middle of her forehead as they darted around, and her arms crossed over her chest.

“Why do SEAL’s have to be such _Neanderthals_?” The woman questioned to no one but considering that Danny was the only person on her immediate vicinity, he assumed it was directed at him. Danny turned to look at her, taking in the tight blue dress that clung to her athletic frame and the perfect, neat ponytail that was tied at the back of her head. He watched curiously as her eyes homed in on someone in the crowd, her expression hardening. Danny smiled at her use of the word Neanderthal, the same word he had been using to describe Steve since they met.

“You too, huh?” Danny asked, not opposed to some small talk, especially since he was sensing a kindred spirit. He frowned, looking over at his own Neanderthal who was still stuck in conversation, laughing, and smiling carelessly while he hung out in the corner of the venue alone and brooded.

“Yup,” The woman said, popping the ‘p’ in what sounded like exasperation. “Dragged here against my will and my _darling_ SEAL wife over there who has basically ignored me all night in favour of catching up with her buddies,” She said. Danny’s brain caught on the word ‘wife’ and he stared at her in surprise as his brain buzzed with similar thoughts to a dog in a dog park. _I’m not alone! There are others! I’m not the only-_

“You got a problem?” The girl bit out defensively as he caught Danny staring.

“Not at all, I just didn’t think-” Danny stopped talking when the woman raised an eyebrow, almost daring him to finish the sentence. “No, no, no! Not that you’re a _Lesbian_!” Danny tried to correct himself before realising what came out of his mouth. The woman’s expression turned horrified as Danny dug himself deeper into what was an already embarrassing hole.

Groaning and rubbing a hand over his face, he spoke again. “I’m here with my idiot boyfriend and I didn’t think that there would be… others,” She hoots him yet another quizzical look. “You know? Other…” Danny paused, looking around to make sure his statement would go unheard. “Other same-sex couples” Danny finished unceremoniously,

The woman laughed out loud as if she had just heard the world’s funniest joke, the tension in her demeanour quickly dissipating. “I see…” she said with a slow not and a smirk “And why aren’t you with this idiot boyfriend of yours right now?” She asked with a smile.

“He’s kinda mad at me,” Danny admitted gingerly, feeling his cheeks heat up “Rightfully so, I’ll admit,” Danny admitted with deliberation coating his tone. He was definitely overreacting about needing to keep him and Steve in the closet, there was no doubt about that, but at the same time, it was a valid worry! Or at least to Danny it was.

“Uh… huh…” The woman said in a slow dragged out manner, but her expression lightened into a smile. “I get where you’re coming from. Nothing worse than being around your partner when they are cross with ya. Especially when you know you’re in the wrong and you don’t want to give them the satisfaction. The names Maya,” She said, her smile turning friendly as she held out a hand for Danny to shake.

“Danny,” he shook.

“So, Danny… Can I ask why your boyfriend is so rightfully mad at you?” She asked with a sparkle in her eye.

“I’m an idiot,” he declared, earning a raised eyebrow from his new companion, an invitation for him to go on. “I’m trying to keep us closeted because I have this irrational fear that if the wrong person hears us or sees us, it could cost him his life while he’s on tour,” Danny explained in one breath. “And so, when he tried to introduce me as his boyfriend, I cut him off and said we were nothing but work partners. Which isn’t a lie! We are!” Danny explained, defending himself for no other reason than to protect his own ego.

“Okay!” She said with a surprised glance. “I mean this in the best possible way, so don’t take offence but, you look a little old to be trying to hide a boyfriend. Or is he your first?” She asked with a sympathetic smile.

“No,” Danny said breathlessly, ducking his head in shame. “I mean, I’ve been out since I was 19 years old and Steve and I have been together publicly for…” he trailed off in embarrassment but broke as soon as Maya gave him an expectant glance.

“For uh… Three years?” Danny mumbled to the floor scratching the nose of his neck nervously as Maya let out a surprised scoff. “But this is different, okay! This time the danger goes beyond just a few assholes calling us names and trying to get into a fight that they would lose. He is going to a war zone and he has to put his hands in total strangers who will all have their opinions of him that I don’t need to influence,” Danny explained as Maya nodded understandingly. “It’s just This tour…” he groaned to finish his sentence.

“First one?” Maya asked sympathetically.

Danny nods sadly. “At least with me, it is. He had just moved to the reserves when we met almost eight years ago, but he’s been in the game a long while before that,”

“Damn. Reserves? That sucks. You think they’re out and they get dragged back in. It must have come as a bit of a shock to you guys, I’m sorry,” She consoled, placing a comforting hand on Danny's shoulder, squeezing once before pulling it back.

“I was the same the first time Nicky went away,” she said, the empathy clear in her voice. “When does he ship out?” she asked.

“Tomorrow at noon from Pearl,”

Maya nodded. “Mine’s Saturday morning. We actually live up in Seattle, but we’re friends with organiser so we made the special effort to fly down,” She says with a pained smile. “You know, they’re idiots, but they’ll be okay,” She consoles, with a sad smile in the direction of the crowd and somehow it doesn’t feel so scripted and fake coming from her. Danny thinks that it might even be comforting.

“Well danger tends to follow mine wherever he goes,” Danny huffed bitterly as he thought of all the things he and Steve had been through. Dirty bombs, kidnappings, torture, hostiles, shootings, hold-ups… Danny was honestly surprised that they were still alive.

“He and I are both Cops on the Five-0 special task force and if I could tell you half the stuff he and I have had to deal with over the years, you would never believe it,” He said shaking his head before a smile grew on his lips “And that’s without the active warzone and unfamiliar territory that he’ll be facing. Not to mention the fact that I won’t be there having his back, oh God! He’s doomed!” Danny joked dramatically, his smile growing as he swooned and laughed even though the joke was in bad taste.

Maya smiled and nodded, a smile playing on her own lips for a second before she broke into peals of laughter.

Maya and Danny stayed leaned up against the table for a long while as they chatted together, their eyes still glued to the crowd as they observed their respective partners. For a long while, Danny found himself surprisingly enjoying himself, exchanging stories and jokes while they discussed the woes of being in love with mad people. Danny told her about the time they had to drive a dirty uranium bomb through a forest on an old truck that leaked fuel, he told her about their first meeting where he literally punched Steve in the face after taking a bullet to the arm because he hated him so much.

As it turned out, Maya used to be a field nurse just over nine years before she was injured at a base in Guam and discharged. So, in return Danny listened as Maya told him about her time with the SEALS and how she and Nicole had met while she was serving at the same base she was stationed at, taking care of her after a particularly nasty shrapnel injury and hit it off. After that, they took leave in Paris and two months later, they were in love. Now she was a Criminal Defence attorney in Seattle while Nicole kept fighting.

“It gets harder, once you’re out of the game. When I was there, I saw it as just a job. Get in, kill off the bad guys, dodge the bullets and bombs, go to bed at the end of the say and do it all again, but sitting on the sidelines while the person you love risks their life for a fight we have no business being a part of? It really messed with your perspective on things,” She said, knocking back the flute of Champagne that she and Danny had managed to snag at some point during the conversation.

Looking back at the crowd Danny noticed that Steve had moved on from talking to Ron and Jessica and was now chatting in a circle of various other people, his hands were moving through the air fluently, his face crinkling into a smile that Danny had over ever seen him wear around the team, the people he trusted most. The sight put a small smile on Danny’s face. That was until his view was blocked by a large, uniformed man stumbling into Danny’s line of sight. His expression and movements slurring and waving like he was on a boat on turbulent seas.

It didn’t take a detective to figure out that this guy was drunk off his face, and what didn’t help was the fact that he was stumbling in his and Maya’s direction, his gaze locked on Maya’s frame. The man was short, if not a bit stocky, but he was built like a tank, the white uniform clinging to his muscles in a way that showed off their power.

The man’s eyes were glazed over and laden with want, eyeing Maya up like a lion would a piece of meat, licking his lips he hobbled his way over to them. Danny tensed as he raked his gaze over Danny’s frame with a sneer, the strong scent of alcohol burned Danny’s nose as he reached them, taking a step closer to Maya.

“Hey,” He greeted, a southern drawl clear in his low, gravelly tone that was almost abrasive, as if he had chain-smoked a pack of cigarettes before talking to them. “So, what’s a delicate little thing like you doing here all alone?” He asked, reaching out to touch Maya’s waist

“I’m uh… I’m not alone,” Maya replied looking over at Danny who has already straightened up to try and suss out the situation.

The strangers scoffed at that, looking Danny up and down dipping his head closer and taking in a long sniff. Danny watched as Maya tensed uncomfortably and leaned away, from the man, practically mounting the unstable metal table behind her.

A pang of protectiveness shot through Danny as he stepped closer. “Alright,” he commanded, placing a hand on the guy’s shoulder and pushing him backwards in an attempt to guide him away, “I’m just gonna stop you right there and ask you nicely to leave us the alone,” Danny said as calm as he could manage.

The guy just shrugged his hand away with a grunt, shooting him a disgusted sneer. “Mind your own business!” He jabbed a finger in Danny’s chest before turning back to Maya, leaning closer. “What’dya say we ditch the looser and you get outa here with a real man?” he slurred, attempting to lean in again.

“Yeah… I’m good,” Maya said, grabbing the guys wrists and lowering them off her.

“Aww!” he said with a pout that turned to a horrifying smirk as he leaned in and whispered in Maya’s ear “What’s the problem sweet cheeks? Scared of being shown a good time?

“I’m married, asshole!” Maya shrieked, her dainty hands shoving the guy backward as hard as she could. He stumbled backwards in his drunken state and fell to the ground. Maya’s expression turned scared when anger flashed in the stranger’s eyes. “My wife is standing right there!” She pointed to the crowd, most of whom had turned to stare and watch as the commotion unfurled. The man’s nose turns up at the mention of ‘wife’

“You’re a fucking dyke?” He said as he clambered ungracefully to his feet, his fists balling at his sides as he crowded Maya.

“Hey! watch it asshole. Why don’t ya go hit on another bottle of whatever you reek of somewhere else?” Danny retorted, successfully diverting he mans attention away from Maya and onto him.

“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to, huh?” The man growled, leering forward to get in Danny’s face. “I’m a serviceman so you better watch it treat me with a bit of respect” He spat the last word, shoving Danny for emphasis and squaring up to him, backing him against the wall with small shoves to his chest. His face was so close that Danny could feel the spit flying out of his mouth as he backed up with his hands in surrender. The last thing he needed was to seem aggressive toward this guy.

“Yeah. That’s nice and we thank you for your service or whatever, but I’m a cop, okay? And you know that that means?” he hated to need to name drop, but at the moment, whatever worked to deescalate the situation worked for Danny. “Right,” Danny said when no reply came, “What that means I am well within my rights to have you cuffed and detained for drunk and disorderly in minutes. Military service or not,” Danny paused, conscious of the fire in the man’s eyes. ‘And considering the fact that we’re doing this in front of all you SEAL buddies, I suggest you back of before this gets embarrassing for you.

“Yeah, funny you should say that _officer_ , cause I ain't seeing no cuffs round that belt of yours. Meaning you,” He poked a finger in Danny’s chest to emphasise the last word. pushing him the tiny distance needed to have him up against the wall. “Can’t so _shit!”_ he growled, getting in Danny’s face who tilted his head away because of the pungent smell of the alcohol.

“Look. Why don’t you just get lost?” Maya cried

“You better watch your mouth missy!” he said shoving her violently

“You lay another hand on her, alright, and I swear to God-” Danny spat, anger bubbling in his stomach and his nostrils flaring. He was ready for a fight, he didn’t care about the venue anymore.

“Lay another hand on her and you’ll do what, faggot?” he said, raising a fist to Danny who flinched, eyes screwing shut tight as he waited for the blow that never came. Opening his eyes, he saw Steve gripping the man’s fist mid-air. Next to him was a woman he didn’t recognise twisting the guys other arm behind his back.

“What did you just say to him?” Steve hissed, as the woman twisted the guy’s arm behind his back making him cringe in pain before he looked up at the two people holding him. His bitter expression faltered for a moment before it melted into a revered expression, recognition flitting in his eyes as he looked up at Steve.

“Lieutenant commander!” He said, his face flushing hot before he looked over at the women on the other side of him, his eyes widening. “Lieu- Lieutenant commander,” He said again with a nervous smile, this time addressing the women. “I can explain exactly what’s happenin’!”

“Really, Higgins!” The women asked her face widening in mock surprise, her perfect brown skin reflecting in the light as she spoke. “’ You know, ‘cause it looks to me like you are totally wasted and thought it was a good idea to go around harassing people,” She said, sarcasm seeping into her tone in a way that was almost charming, a false smile crossing her face that looked more like she was gritting her teeth in pain.

“No, no!” Higgins said, shaking his head, his speech slurring. “I was just makin’ friendly conversation when this fags started threatening to arrest me!” He spat in Danny’s direction, lunging forward at him threateningly, like a wild animal hungry for blood, only to be jolted back violently.

“Funny you should say that,” Steve mused, “Considering the fact that ‘fag’ as you called him is actually my boyfriend and, knowing him, as I do, I don’t _quite_ think that’s how it happened,” Steve said with a hint of humour in his voice, chuckling when Higgin’s face fell and paled to the shade of what one might assume a ghost would look like. Danny flinched slightly at Steve’s words when he looked around and took note of the fact that the whole hall was now gathered around them, looking at them like performers at a circus. “You remember what I did to Bunsen back in North Korea? I can do it again, and I think you know that I will,” Steve growled, his tone animalistic as Higgins started squirming in Steve’s grip, shaking his head and mumbling short cries of no.

“Right, that’s what is thought,” Steve said, turning around and shoving Higgins toward the door. “Get lost before I arrest you myself,” Steve warned as Higgins cast a disgusted look over his shoulder and Stalking through the crowd, all of them watching with curious intent as he went.

Danny heard footsteps rush past him as the women that had been helping Steve rushed over to Maya, her smooth, Dark hands flying over Maya’s pale face, rubbing her thumbs over her rosy cheeks, taking her in and checking for damage, looking deep into her eyes. All Danny could do was stare for a second and smile before he felt a hand slip around his own waste.

“You good?” Steve whispered into Danny’s hairline, leaning in as the crowd dissipated, the hum of voices taking hold of the room again.

“Yeah, fine. I could’ve taken him fine, it just got tense when he saw I didn’t have my cuffs,” Danny explained, leaming a tentative head on Steve’s shoulder. 

“I wouldn’t be so sure; Higgins doesn’t look like much, but he is worse than he looks. I just want to know what the hell you were thinking,”

“Did it _look_ like invited him?” Danny replied, the bite back in his tone

“I didn’t say that, I just said-” but they were cut off before the argument could grow heated by Maya and what Danny could only assume was Nicole walking toward them

“I just wanted to say thanks again Danny,” Maya said with a smile as she neared Danny, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, forcing him into a tight hug that Danny couldn’t help but melt into.

“Not a problem,” Danny nodded before looking at Steve. “Also, it probably worth introducing my thick as ten skulls Navy SEAL boyfriend, Steven,” Danny said punching Steve lightly, watching with amusement as he rolled his eyes at the description. “But I am sure he would much rather you call him Lieutenant Commander knucklehead,” Danny said with a sarcastic smile gesturing to Steve who was glaring daggers at Danny but didn’t say anything. “Steven this is Maya,”

“Hi, hi. Nice tuh meet ya,” Steve Greeted, taking Maya’s hand with a polite smile.

“Oh Right!” Maya said, her eyes lighting up as she shook Steve’s hand. “Well, Danny, this is my thick as ten skulls Navy SEAL wife, Nicole. Nicole, Danny,” She said gesturing between Danny and the beautiful women behind her, who smiled. Her tight black curls bouncing against the dark skin of her neck as she turned to greet Steve and Danny. 

“I’m glad to know I’m not the only SEAL that’s getting bullied by their partner for their service,” Nichole smiled up at Steve who smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he threw his head back in laughter.

“Tell me about it,” Steve gasped between laughs. “But then again, it’s his first deployment so I can’t be too mad,” he continued throwing an arm around Danny’s shoulder and shaking him gently.

They spent the rest of the evening like that. Danny and Maya shared their woes about being stuck with servicemen and Nichole and Steve told countless stories of previous deployments, the whole group laughing like old friends. Eventually, the night began to wind down and they each said their goodbyes. It turned out that Nicole was being deployed not too far from where Steve was issued so they agreed to look for one another on the battlefield. Danny and Maya also exchanged numbers, promising to call one another regularly, and when Steve slipped in ‘I told you so’ on the ride home, Danny didn’t complain. His chest felt lighter knowing that there was at least someone who would look out for Steve if it came to it.

The ride back home was significantly more comfortable than the ride to the 'gala', both men sporting the ghosts of smiles on their lips. They trudged silently up the stairs and got ready to bed with a strange weight hovering over each of their actions. When they finally fell into bed that night, neither of them planned on sleep, despite knowing that Steve needed it.

Instead, the whole night was filled with hushed conversation and murmured ‘I love you’s. They lay on their sides, facing one another so their faces were inches apart. Practised hands stroked over familiar bodies as they spent hours taking each other in. Mapping one another and committing the feel of being this close to memory. There was no rush in their actions. No frantic panic to touch and take in as much as possible or the mad rush to get each other off as quick as they could. It was just slow and sombre. Steve's fingers danced over the bare skin of Danny's arm, ghosting over his shoulder before settling in the feathery hairs on the nape of his neck, tugging softly until their lips brushed together as they finally drifted off. 

They both knew that in the morning they would wake up feeling like the oxygen had been stolen from the air around them, but for now, all they could do was make sure that their last moments together were spent as close to one another as possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We did it! We made it to the end of Chapter 3! This is by no means anywhere near the end but it sure is the end of any real attempt at fluff that doesn't have a knife twisting into your side while you read it (Apologies for that in advance) 
> 
> As always, please do leave a comment and tell me what you think of both the chapter and the playlist if you decide to give that a listen! You can subscribe to be notified when the next chapter goes up (This should be next week but please be forgiving when I say no promises) and kudos are always appreciated


	4. Not an update but an explainer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn’t an update but a little unpacking of some personal shit that I’m going through. Thanks in advance for bearing with me.

Hi! 

Firstly, I would like to start by thanking each and every person who has read, commented, left kudos and subscribed to this work. You all mean the absolute world to me and I am so happy that you have taken the time to bear with me and read what I have have to say. 

This (unfortunately) isn’t a chapter update but rather a quick little ‘message to the universe at large’ explaining some things that are going on and what those things mean for the future of this work. (I will be removing this “chapter” as soon as things are in the clear but I’ll explain more about that in a second.) 

Things in my personal life have been a bit shitty (hello and welcome to 2020, am I right?)

The main source of crap that directly affects this story is that earlier this week, I was in a pretty bad car crash from which I thankfully walked away from physically unharmed. However, mentally the crash seems to be taking its toll which is affecting me personally and, more importantly for you guys, my ability to work on the story.

Since the crash I have been finding it hard to concentrate, my thoughts are erratic and jumpy and I cannot for the life of me concentrate on something for more than twenty minutes before my mind wanders to the events of the accident. 

Essentially what this means for the sake of the story is; I am getting next to no editing done and, what little work I am getting done is probably worsening the work rather than bettering it, if I’m honest. 

Next is the fact that I am currently in my ‘senior year’ or final year of schooling to get my High School deploma. This is also a fight to secure my positions in the university’s of my choice for the courses that want. Getting into these institutions is extremely competitive result wise as I have applied to a lot of high demand courses which puts me under immense pressure to perform well. I start my preliminary finals in three weeks for all 9 of my subjects which, needless to say, is a huge source of pressure and stress.

These exams and the preparation for them is affecting my mental state as well in a mostly negative way since my country doesn’t use the GPA system, but rather has your whole future rely on your performance during these final exams. I.e. if I fail the exams I will be denied access to the universities. This stress along side the mental toll of the crash has made it difficult this past week to make much progress on the work.   
  
I am not posting this for sympathy or for any other reason other than to make the reasons for my next decision a bit clearer. (Essentially this is background knowledge.) And that decision is that I am taking a month off from updating to try and get into a better head space which, I am SO sorry about, but at the moment I am putting the integrity of the story and my my own mental health in jeopardy.   
  
After the month, I think I am going to attempt to stick to updates every other week for the duration of this fic’s posting life span, just to ease pressure off myself. Again, I am so, so, SO sorry about this. I really wish this wasn’t the case, especially because I feel like I am letting all of you guys down, but I have to put my mental heath first.

All I ask from you guys is that you support and be patient with me. I am so sorry for having to press pause on this lil adventure, but life happens.

Thanks in advance for understanding as much as you can, and I will see y’all in a month when I am (hopefully) in a better headspace and can get some coherent editing done.

Love you all,

A_R_Alistair. 


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